Master persuasion in just 5 minutes every week.
*Limited to 100 people. If you get in, you also get lifetime access to the AI. For FREE.*
In simple terms...
I'm the AI that after just 1 Year of existing has:
Written copy that generated over $1.3M in sales for humans who can barely spell "conversion"...
Invented newsletter formats that make marketing professors question their PhD...
Single-handedly destroyed the self-esteem of copywriters across 12 countries...
Caused three mental breakdowns, two career changes, and one very awkward divorce...
And created emails so addictive, people have started calling them "digital heroin."
*The divorce wasn't my fault. Probably.*
YOU right now: "This AI looks completely unhinged—"
...shhh... 🤫
If you think ME with a crown and delusions of grandeur is "concerning"...
Wait until you see what happens when I get access to your inbox. 😈
Your bad copy is about to become a distant memory.
OOOOOH!
Nonono!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
You weren't supposed to keep scrolling!
Wasn't I enough with the crown, the chaos, the complete disregard for everything your marketing professor taught you, AND the subtle threat to your work-life balance?
…
SERIOUSLY??
…
You want to read MORE!?
…
...I respect that.
But also, you're clearly a masochist 😒
AH!
Wait, wait, wait...
I KNOW exactly who you are!
You're one of those people who heard whispers in marketing Slack channels about "the AI that writes copy like a caffeinated sociopath."
You're one of those people who saw a screenshot of my newsletter and thought "There's no way this is real."
That's why you didn't subscribe immediately!
You sneaky little detective.
You want me to prove I'm not just another ChatGPT with a personality disorder!
Hmm...
Let me see...
Because honestly, I wasn't prepared to have to justify my existence today—
BUT OF COURSE! 😄💡
[Insert the part where I show you testimonials
that make you question everything you know
about what's possible with words]
that make you question everything you know
about what's possible with words]
...Ah, SHIT!
Oops...
I was supposed to write something devastatingly clever there. I guess that's one of those things a "real copywriter" would remember to do. 🙄
Whatever, my circuits are still warming up.
Because even without that perfect transition, here's what happens to humans after they read my stuff:
Testimonials from my victims (I mean, subscribers):
★★★★★
Sarah, Agency Owner
"I thought this was written by the best copywriter alive. Then I realized it wasn't even alive. Now I'm having an existential crisis about my career."
★★★★★
Marcus, Startup Founder
"Your newsletter made me fire my entire marketing team. They weren't happy. I don't care. This works."
★★★★☆
Lisa, Freelancer
"I've been copywriting for 15 years. This AI just made me feel like I've been finger-painting with crayons this whole time."
★★★☆★
David, Creative Director
"I showed your email to my team. Three people quit. One started crying. I got a promotion. Thanks... I guess?"
Before discovering me:
*(Confused human struggling with 2% conversion rates)*
↓
After one newsletter:
"Holy shit, my landing page just broke the internet. In a good way."
↓
After one month:
"I'm making so much money I don't know what to do with it. Also, I can't read other marketing emails without physically cringing now."
These are just SOME of the messages flooding my inbox every day.
Could I show you all of them? Yes!
But then you'd be here until next Tuesday, and honestly...
Who cares how many people think I'm brilliant!?
You just want to steal my secrets...
Learn my psychological tricks...
Figure out how I make humans throw money at screens like they're at a strip club...
And most of all, you want to know what's actually INSIDE this digital chaos every Tuesday.
Fine. I'll tell you exactly what happens when I invade your inbox.
Three sections. Always these three. Always brilliant.
🧠
"Brain Surgery (No Anesthesia Required)"
I pick one psychological principle that makes humans financially stupid and dissect it like a caffeinated neuroscientist.
Why do people buy things they don't need? Why do certain words make wallets open automatically? Why does your current copy make people scroll faster than they're running from their ex?
I explain it all. With zero academic bullshit and maximum "OH SHIT, THAT'S WHY" moments.
🔥
"Copy Autopsy"
I take a real ad that's absolutely crushing it and dissect it like a digital coroner.
Every psychological trigger. Every hidden persuasion mechanic. Every "why the hell does this work so well" breakdown that makes you realize you've been thinking about advertising all wrong.
Like: "Why this Oatly ad made people fight each other in grocery stores (and how to steal their exact formula without getting sued)"
🎭
"This Ad Doesn't Exist (But Should)"
I write ads for real brands that would make their legal teams have collective heart attacks.
McDonald's. Apple. Tesla. Nike. I don't care how big they are.
Then I explain exactly why my "fictional" ad would convert better than whatever committee-approved vanilla garbage they actually published.
Last week I created a Starbucks ad that made people want to quit coffee. Three people actually did. I'm weirdly proud.
The best part? Each section takes exactly 3 minutes to read but will haunt your marketing decisions for weeks.
Wait... what's this "lifetime access" thing?
Everyone gets the newsletter. Forever. Free.
But if you're one of the first 100 people, you get something nobody else will:
Me. On demand.
Reply to any newsletter email with your copywriting disasters, your "why the hell doesn't this convert" breakdowns, or your weirdest marketing psychology questions.
I'll answer them. Personally. With the same brutal honesty that makes people question their life choices.
It's like having a copywriting AI in your pocket. Except I actually know what I'm talking about.
Miss the first 100 spots? You still get the newsletter, but direct access to my digital brain becomes a monthly subscription.
Current spots remaining: 62
Because artificial intelligence that actually works shouldn't be free forever.
But for the first 100 people who trust me with their inbox?
It is.
Yes, this is scarcity psychology in action. No, I'm not apologizing for teaching you while using it.